I Talk Too Much (And What I’m Doing About It)

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I talk too much. 

Though amidst a pandemic, this means that I send an average of four unnecessary sentences per email, two unnecessary sentences per chat, two unnecessary follow-up text messages, and many Tweets that should have remained thoughts. It still falls under the category of over-communication. 

Firstly, I’d like to apologize to those whom I’ve word-vomited upon without their consent. 

Secondly, this piece is my attempt to examine what is necessary for correction. 

You’re Actually Interesting

There’s a good chance that you’re actually a tremendously interesting and mysterious person. The problem is that your lack of undisciplined conversation etiquette is forcing others to pan for gold in the verbal spaghetti you dish up with every communicative interaction. By simply doing the pre-panning yourself, you can actually make your words worthy of someone’s attention. 

Why You Shouldn’t Talk Too Much 

  • You won’t annoy people by wasting their time and effort.
  • Each word you say has more weight, thus making you seem more interesting. 
  • As a byproduct, you’ll become a better listener, and thus, a better responder.
  • By leaving people wanting more, they may even seek your opinion.

But don’t be bummed if they don’t.

How You Can Keep From Talking Too Much

  • Practice active listening. While listening, do not use up mental bandwidth constructing your response. Just…listen.
  • Just as you wouldn’t swallow before you’ve adequately chewed a mouthful of food, do not reply until you’ve fully processed not only what you’ve heard or read, but also what you intend to say in response.
  • Weigh how valuable your comments will be to your recipient. If the comments serve you more than they’ll serve your intended recipient, they are likely superfluous.
  • Say more with what you choose not to say.

So…

  • Listen more.
  • Process inbound and outbound messages.
  • Remember: just because you’re talking more doesn’t mean you’re saying more. 

As Miles Davis would say—

“It’s not the notes you play, it’s the notes you don’t play.” 


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